Anger vs Kindness
While talking about empowering our junior enlisted Airmen and Guardians, a Staff Sergeant in our class asked, “What if my people work better while I’m hovering over them?”
Then I thought…how interesting a concept. To believe we can just do this to our people without thinking it will produce consequences and here are some thoughts.
Two distinct leadership approaches often stand out: leading with anger and leading with kindness. The differences in our personalities largely affect our approaches to leading our teams. This is both good and bad.
Leading with Anger (this just sounds ridiculous…but, fine let’s talk about it)
This leadership style relies on fear, intimidation, and strict control. This usually involves yelling, harsh criticism, and punitive measures to enforce their authority. While this method might produce short-term results (and it truly does!), It’s not appropriate and it often comes at a high cost. Low morale, low well-being, and psychological UN-safety!
Here are some impacts of leading with anger:
1. Fear and Anxiety: This style can instill fear and anxiety in team members. The constant threat of criticism, demonization, or retribution can lead to a tense and unproductive work environment. The ironic part of this is that leaders then look to their people as the culprits of why profits and morale are low.
2. High Turnover: Higher turnover rates because people don’t quit their jobs, they quit their managers (I know I read this somewhere). There is a deep truth in this. Employees are more likely to seek a less hostile work environment. This also means our talented people are leaving because they are looking for greener grass!
3. Limited Creativity: Creativity becomes stifled when team members are fearful of expressing their opinions or trying new ideas. I don’t know about you, but change is constant and the creative on our teams are the ones that drive us towards change. Now innovation and potential become stilled and shoved in the closet, never to be seen again and to hang out with the unused box of Swiffer pads.
4. Reduced Trust: Trust is that special sauce that makes the meal so good patrons return to the restaurant. This is a vital component of effective teamwork. This angry stuff just erodes trust between leaders and team members, making it challenging to build strong working relationships. This is a MASSIVE PROBLEM and only contributes to constant friction and backward motion.
Leading with Kindness (this already sounds better)
Empathy, compassion, support. You see? I can probably stop there and you know where I’m going. Kind leaders focus on building positive relationships, fostering a collaborative* atmosphere, and nurturing individual and team growth. The well-being and happiness of team members is a crucial goal of this style.
*I just want to quick sidetone on collaboration: This is a very powerful word! USE THIS WORD when you want to bring people together on a project. “Hey team, I want to Collaborate on this, can you help me?” That’s it…and enjoy the beauty of human beings in action.
Now for the impacts of leading with kindness:
1. Enhanced Morale: Kind leaders create an environment where team members feel valued and appreciated. This is morale-boosting, and keeps the team engaged! In many jobs, some leaders cannot control pay easily so morale is a sure way to keep everyone engaged and working together.
2. Improved Productivity: Speaking of working together, kindness and support often mean higher productivity levels. When employees feel safe and encouraged, they are more likely to give their best effort and push the boundaries of what is possible. This productivity eventually evolves into innovation.
3. Open Communication: Open and honest communication is pivotal to fixing the trust problems left behind by an angry leader. More communication means more idea-sharing, more collaboration, and better problem-solving and decision-making.
4. Loyalty and Retention: Remember that high turnover? Well, Say goodbye. Teammates stay longer on teams where they feel loyalty. If you don’t have to in-process and out-process members…costs are reduced. Less cost…That’s gotta be good right?
Parting Thought
Leaders set the tone for their teams through their behavior and actions.
Let me say that another way.
Leaders create the environment. Leaders do….
When you lead by example your team has no choice but to 1) follow suit or 2) inadvertently display if they need growth. Those behaviors that make the team valuable or fun to be around, are the things they will copy and install in themselves. They will just pick it up and go.
Now, this happens regardless of the approach you choose.
So which one will you choose?