Dimension #1
Last time we talked about nature, nurture, and choice.
The importance of choice in our lives needs to be emphasized! Our society likes to tell us that no matter what decisions we make it’s a sign of freedom and independence.
So how do we figure out which decisions to make and when to make them?
Understanding our personality and tendencies is the key to making better decisions. Without a full understanding of who we are, then we are not truly free to make decisions because we fall victim to our tendencies.
The next 4 posts will look at the four dimensions of personality that contribute to this very thing and we will show how these characteristics come together to make us who we are.
Some housekeeping before we begin:
The mindset we need to have for the next few weeks is very important. We have to Know Ourselves to Lead Ourselves. Remember this as we go through these lessons because our consistency and dedication are the parts that will help us make lasting change.
Let’s get going.
Once we figure out who we are we can 1) create a better more effective plan forward and 2) know how our decisions hinder this process.
So let’s jump into this.
Extraversion & Intraversion
This dimension is rooted in our preferred source of energy. How we choose to be energized by the world around us.
Extraversion
Considering we usually think of extroverts as outgoing people I’d like to caution you with the defining ‘extraversion’ that way. Extraversion is more about how we prefer to interact with the world around us. Extraverts prefer to direct and receive energy from the external world of people, activities, and ideas. This means that for an extravert the world is better when it can be seen, heard, or touched.
Here’s a list of things to know about an extrovert:
They prefer to talk things out to understand them.
They know moments when they’ve thought out loud and wish they could rewind history!
They prefer to brainstorm at the beginning of projects and then go work on the details.
They share their thoughts freely when someone they trust asks them questions.
They enjoy working in groups and are more productive with a soundtrack in the background.
They give breadth to life and often have lots of acquaintances and differing interests.
Introversion
Introverts prefer to direct and receive energy from their internal world of thought, reflection, and ideas. This does not necessarily make them quiet but it does mean they tend to operate from a more internal perspective than most others. Introverts find value in this deep introspective world.
Here’s a list of things to know about introverts:
They prefer written communication because it can be refined and perfected.
They guard their thoughts until they are (almost) perfect.
They often think they’ve communicated things that no one else has heard.
They dislike superficiality and small talk.
They enjoy working alone and the freedom to shut the office door.
They give depth to life and focus on a small circle of deep friendships.
Their great desire is to know and be known.
Look at this list of keywords for each:
EXTRAVERSION
Active, Outward, Sociable, People, Many, Expressive, Breadth
INTROVERSION
Reflective, Inward, Reserved,Privacy, Few, Quiet, Depth
Now that we have listed some characteristics of each, let’s gauge where we land. On a piece of paper try this exercise (you can use your phone and this image below).
On this line mark where you believe you fall.
OK, so do you think you’ve got it? No? Well, here are some thought experiments to help you be sure.
If money was no object what would your perfect party look like? How many invitations would you send?
An extrovert would have a large gathering with a bunch of people, some close and some acquaintances, while the introvert would have a subtle, personal party with 10 of the most personal friends.
At the end of a long day, how do you most effectively recharge?
The introvert recharges effectively by being alone, reading, resting, and engaging in a creative act or deep thought, usually alone. The extravert may like to spend time with friends or family to recharge.
How exciting would it be for you to go to the wedding of an old friend where you know you won’t know anyone?
The extrovert would be excited to spend energy in this wedding with all these people while the introvert would feel like they are incredibly drained and even anxious at the idea of going to a place where they don’t know anyone.
By now you should have a really good idea on which side you land, generally speaking.
Here’s a list of insights and areas of improvement for us to consider
Extraverts insights
Learn to be fully present and truly listen to the opinions of Introverts before attempting to respond.
You can read more about how to be present and productive here.
Watch how long you talk in any conversation, finishing an Introvert’s sentence never goes down well!
Although difficult, we should sometimes bite our tongues, let others speak.
Beware the Boomerang effect where it always comes back to be about you!
Be Interested before being interested. Ask more questions than give answers.
Silence is OK, the Introverts have heard you!
Don’t stack your questions, give time for a considered reply.
Learn to appreciate Introverts, you don’t see what they are best at!
Create opportunities that allow your Introverts to use their right hand.
Introverts insights
Over-communicate with your team! It may be real and loud inside your head but that doesn’t mean others have truly heard it!
When you over-communicate, remember to organize your thoughts.
Learn to share your ideas out loud even if they are not perfect.
Learn to project your enthusiasm and energy into the external world. Body Language and tone of voice communicate more than words.
To hear what an Extravert thinks you will have to let them speak for longer than you would wish!
Don’t judge an Extravert for thinking out loud, help them learn discretion and discipline.
Take time each day to recharge your battery, it will actually increase your productivity.
Giving yourself constantly to others will eventually diminish your capacity to help them.
Studies show that on this dimension we are 50% percent in either direction.
Congratulations!
We have completed our first dimension. The extraversion and introversion scales can shift slightly but generally remain the same. Now that we’ve covered the differences between extraversion and introversion, let’s take time for a few days to reflect on this. Is your assumption correct? Make sure to pick one or two of the insights above to work on over the next week and make note of the changes you find in your relationships with others.
Next time we will continue our journey into the four dimensions of personality and revisit this dimension to build a picture of who we are.
I wish you a great week of recharge and self-analysis! See you on the next one!
Hey! Thanks for reading.
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