Last week’s post on extraversion and introversion was a great dive into how we prefer to process information and the environment around us. As we dive deeper into this journey of understanding our personality remember to look honestly at the insights and look inside you. This is what will truly create a long lasting comprehension of who we are. So, what insights have you had while exploring your personality over the past few weeks? Share them in the comments!
If you’re new here, we have been exploring the four dimensions of personality with a goal of learning our tendencies. You can catch up by reading Dimension #1 and Dimension #2. Remember the goal here to learn our tendencies so we can actually change behavior and be better leaders at home and work!
Alright, let’s jump into dimension #3.
Thinkers and Feelers
Dimension #3 is based on our preferred method of decision making. Short term and long term decisions come from an internal place we often don’t understand. This is why we sit and evaluate afterwards and wonder, “why the heck did I do that?” This dimension helps us understand this within our thought process.
Thinkers
Thinkers prefer to make a logical, rational, impersonal, and truth-based decision.
They list bullet points to defend and articulate the decision they have come to.
Their goal is to use logic to make a decision that is just and fair.
They critique the idea or argument before appreciating the person who offered it.
They prefer to remain objective – separating themselves from the context and relationships that will be impacted by the decision.
They use a logical, rational machine gun to test the validity of ideas and strategies. If it stands up to the toughest critique it’s sound.
They value competence in themselves and others. Completing the task and winning invariably comes before relational niceties.
They have the capacity to separate themselves from the task. If it’s not their fault then they don’t carry the burden home with them.
Feelers
Feelers make decisions based on their own core personal values and the effect any decision will have on relational harmony.
They ask questions to gain emotional clarity and strive to make the most compassionate decision.
They appreciate the person bringing the idea before critiquing their idea.
All decisions are personal – they put themselves into each pair of shoes asking how the decision would affect their reality.
Relationships come before the task – they will never sacrifice others for personal gain. They like to be valued and recognized for who they are and not simply what they do.
They search for points of agreement in an argument, trying to preserve relational harmony and a collaborative sense of decision-making.
They struggle to believe that anyone is inherently more important and valuable than anyone else.
They find it hard to separate themselves from the task. They and their work / relationships are one and the same
Time for a Thought Experiment to better find out which one you are.
How do you prefer to receive constructive criticism?
If you prefer a more logical approach to reviewing criticism then you might be a thinker. Thinkers love to be approach from an analysis perspective first before emotion. In fact this can also be a crutch for the thinker because the thinker might also discount those people they think are being too emotional and could reject constructive criticism. Constructive criticism coming from someone that is well-respected and has credibility is most often accepted by the thinker.
A feeler will like things to be said in a much more considerate way. This doesn’t mean they like to be lied to but it does mean they would prefer to remain connected to those that offer criticism afterwards and so a nicer approach helps maintain the relationship. A negative effect of this could be a feeler might feel they let someone down if the criticism is too harsh. They can often be hard on themselves questioning “how could I have messed up in a way that hurt someone else?”
What do you like to be recognized and appreciated for?
A thinker will most likely want to be recognized for building systems and processes that create an easier and better life for those around them. This includes developing new a calendar system to make sure to-dos don’t get forgotten or even reducing time spent on menial tasks. A feeler on the other hand wants to be recognized for their efforts to bring people together. A feeler will most likely go to extra efforts to have a celebratory party for teammates and the ocassional great job and “thank you for bring us together and helping us build better relationships” goes a long way.
Do you like critiquing other people’s ideas and strategies?
A thinker will love this. A thinker takes pride in dismantling ideas and strategies to make them better. A downside is that an immature thinker could do this in a hurtful way, not knowing they are losing influence among teammates. A thinker should be mindful of the way they are destroying ideas because they could be hurting the very relationships they’ll need one day.
A feeler on the other hand will be hesitant in critiquing others’ ideas. The feeler will not want to hurt the ideas and strategies of their fellow teammates and therefore could with hold their thoughts and comments on the subject. The side effect of this behavior is that a feeler might have something very important to say but will choose to keep quiet therefore hurting the opportunity for the overall product to be better.
Now if you are still a little confused or not sure where you land, here are a few words that describe each:
THINKER
Head
Objective
Justice
Cool
Impersonal
Critique
Analyze
Precise
FEELER
Heart
Subjective
Harmony
Caring
Personal
Appreciate
Empathize
Persuasive
As always, l look to provide the breakdown of each of these so you can see how far we’ve come and how the other two dimensions compare to this one.
You’ll notice that on the thinking and feeling conversation 70% of males land on thinking and 50% of females land on feeling.
Heres a quick audio note explaining this:
As we come to the end of dimension three, I want to remind you that the key to all of this is self-analysis! So, look below at some insights for us to work on, pick one and remember to self-analyze over the following week.
Thinker Insights
Watch your “Tone” and “Tact” in all communication.
Be careful when critiquing a Feeler’s ideas or performance - they experience it as personal.
Learn to speak the truth in love; the truth part is not the growth area!
Learn to start each engagement with a positive affirmation and then critique.
When a Feeler shares their challenges don’t always assume they want you to solve the problem!
Learn to be empathetic - what is the experience for the person on the other side of you?
Use your body language to soften the delivery of critique and challenge.
Feeler insights
When a Thinker challenges your idea it’s not always personal.
Fight for the highest possible good of those you lead, learning to bring effective challenge as you speak the truth in love.
Even when you think you’ve brought massive challenge you haven’t!
Don’t assume you’ve offended a Thinker; they will tell you when you have.
When you need to bring challenge tell them, don’t just hint at it!
Learn to embrace the insights and challenges of Thinkers, don’t forget your Kevlar body armor!
Own your leadership role; you are more valuable to the organization than those you lead!
Be yourself; don’t try to lead in someone else’s identity.
Homework:
We don’t have to call it that but you get the point.
Apply these insights and even teach others what you read here. Consider sharing this post is also a great way to share with others!
That’s all I got for now, I’ll see you next week for Dimension #4.
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