What Kristen Wig Teaches Us About Leadership
And a special guest appearance by Taylor Swift.
Imagine you had an action-packed weekend.
Maybe a dinner party on Friday, visited an amusement park on Saturday, then went bowling, and on Sunday you purchased tickets for an upcoming vacation and attended a neighbor’s BBQ.
This means you might have a lot to share with folks on Monday at the office.
But…
What if there’s one person who just can’t help but share how much “more” stuff they did over the weekend? Or how much better they are at stuff.
Here’s a clip of Kristen Wig perfectly demonstrating this point!
Clip
Funny right?
Only funny to watch but to experience it, is another story.
So here’s how it might go for you on Monday.
“I had a dinner party on Friday”
“I had two dinner parties on Friday”
“I went to Six-Flags on Saturday.”
“I went to Disney and Universal on Saturday.”
“Well on Sunday I-”
You get the point.
This is frustrating. Sharing your experiences, life, and things that are going on is OK, but when you do it to refocus the conversation on yourself…your messing up.
That…is what we call a conversational narcissist.
A ONE-UPPER!
People notice.
And they might run in the other direction when you walk into the room.
So, here’s what you do.
STOP MAKING IT ABOUT YOU!
.
Let them ask you.
In fact, you should practice the 3 curious questions method.
When you speak with someone, find a way to ask at least 3 questions before moving on or even talking about you or your things.
Here’s what it looks like:
Them: “Wow, what a weekend!”
You: “Wow!? What was wow about it? (←question #1) Must have been a great time!”
Them: “Well, on Saturday we caught up with an old friend we haven’t seen in years!”
You: “That sounds great, reconnecting with friends is always amazing. What did you all do? Dinner or something?” (←question #2)
Them: “Yes! We went to The Cheesecake Factory, the cheesecake is always to die for.”
You: “Did you all make a plan to stay connected?” (←question #3)
Ok, you get the point here.
The conversation can go in many different directions but this method helps the conversation unfold and build up, not break down.
In fact, when using the 3 curious question method, you’re building the conversation up instead of letting it break down.
I encourage you to remember what it’s like to be in a conversation where the other person makes it all about themselves.
It’s not a good feeling and I’m sure you know that every time that person enters the room, you want to run in the other direction.
So, fix it, and be different.
Or you’ll be in that room all by yourself.
And looking a lot like Kristen Wig in this clip.
Hey, thanks for reading!
I really appreciate you all staying on track with me and my crazy journey on substack and through email!
This week I want to invite you to my upcoming FREE leadership toolkit session on Friday at 12 pm EST. You can sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/leadership-toolkit-sessions-tickets-874177718087
I’m excited to see you in person!
-Ivan
