Your Phone is Out To Get You
How quickly would you disown or remove a friend from your life if all they did was get you in trouble, make you late for work, distract you all the time, and make you lose sleep every day?
Think about it for a second. If your friend, who says they were your friend, is constantly working against you and at every turn sabotaging everything you’re doing, would you get rid of them, or stop calling, stop hanging out?
The answer, I hope, is yes.
The fact is that in today’s modern world, the phone has now become that friend. Every time you try to sleep early, the notifications magnetically pull your hands. When you try to focus on a movie, the vibration grabs your attention. Every time you think you’re in control the algorithm reminds you that it’s not that way at all.
Here are some wild statistics:
47% of Americans are addicted to their phones.
The average person checks their phone every 12 minutes or approximately 80 times per day.
44% of adults in the U.S. say that not having their phones gives them anxiety.
Cell phones cause more than 1 out of 5 car accidents.
Almost two-thirds of children spend four hours or more per day on their smartphones.
Teenagers spend an average of 9 hours a day on their smartphones.
66% of teenagers feel anxious when they don't have their smartphones.
34% of teenagers say they have "excessive" smartphone use.
47% of teenagers say they are "constantly" checking their phones.
And the list can go on and on and on and on, like the energizer bunny.
Digital Identity vs. Real-World Self
Our online personas, carefully curated through social media profiles and digital interactions, can sometimes diverge significantly from our real-world selves. This discrepancy can lead to a fragmented sense of identity and make maintaining authenticity in our personal and professional lives challenging. It’s like you’re living two lives. Completely different lives. A study published in the "Journal of Experimental Social Psychology" found that individuals who spend more time on social media tend to have a more malleable sense of self, often adapting their behavior and opinions to align with their online audience.
So what does this mean for us as leaders or teams and businesses?
It means we’re in trouble, and we need to get our act together.
Losing our sense of self or identity while trying to develop better leadership skills is a problem for the people who follow us. Remember that if we are to build great relationships we need to develop ourselves and our emotional intelligence, but phones are killing our progress.
Face-to-face is the new social strategy. It’s clear that we need a resurgence of some things we used to do. These tactics from the past are what will help us fight against these phones aimed at destroying us.
But how?
Here are a few:
Regaining Control
Digital Detox: Regularly disconnect from your devices to practice self-control and reconnect with the physical world.
The keyword here is REGULARLY. Im not naive to the point that the internet and social media are here to stay but I truly believe we need to do better at disconnecting from the stuff that’s pulling at our life source
Mindful Usage: Be aware of your smartphone habits and set intentional boundaries for device use.
BOUNDARIES is the keyword here. For example: leave your phone away from you when you crawl into bed.
Cultivate Real-World Relationships: Prioritize face-to-face interactions to develop and maintain strong social skills.
Go for a coffee or tea. Go for a walk with a friend. Do more in-person stuff.
Diversify Information Sources: Actively seek out diverse perspectives to combat confirmation bias and broaden your worldview.
Read print. There is something absolutely amazing about reading work in print again. It’s just different.
Practice Self-Reflection: Regularly engage in activities that promote self-awareness and personal growth without relying on external validation.
Do non-device-related things. Go to the park, write in a journal, work out, pick up a hobby.
At face value, I know this seems easy to understand but like all great lessons, they only work when you apply them. But if you want to develop true leadership in this modern world, it’s about regaining control. Everyday. Things will never stop taking away your autonomy so you should never stop working to stay ahead of the phones that are trying to get you.
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